THERE was a time when car companies were hugely misogynistic dinosaurs, a period sometimes known as “the good old days”. Then the world changed and, slowly and painfully, car companies reacted, with storage bins for high-heeled shoes, appalling paint colours and SUVs that aren’t designed to go off-road.
This, inevitably, led to some truly woeful commercial tie-ins (Sportsgirl Barina, anyone?), but none have come within a cow’s moo of Ford’s recent effort to effeminate the manly Mustang by introducing a line of Mustangthemed nail lacquers.
Yes, nail lacquers. Stuff that goes on your nails. No, I don't know the difference between lacquers and polishes, and I don't care. Perhaps "polish" sounds too much like something that might actually relate to cars.
The natty nail lacquer range was launched with OPI Products to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the revered pony car.
“This new collection will deliver elements of sophistication, luxury, power and style fitting for both OPI and Mustang consumers,” gushed OPI’s Suzi Weiss-Fischmann. Power? Can you push your fingernail through brick walls while wearing it?
The "hero shade" of the range is Race Red, a "tribute to one of Mustang's most iconic colours".
Red nail polish, how radical.
Mustang marketing manager Melanie Baker said "there's no better way to express Mustang’s bold personality than through color.” Perhaps, but if there's not a better way to celebrate Mustang's Mustangness than by launching a range of nail lacquers, it's time to sack your marketing team.
Well, it’s simply not.
There’s absolutely nothing in its favour. If you can think of anything, you’re wrong.
You’re gutting a brilliant brand, you’ve got it all wrong, you don’t need shiny nails, you need a nail through the head.