HSV-branded anything

MASH-UPS BRAND

When the Lion loses its roar

OBVIOUSLY some clothes do not date well, with body shirts and flares being an obvious example, but even Hypercolor t-shirts are going to stand the test of time better than HSV-slathered clothing over the next decade.

In the past, HSV gear, which seems to sell at a mystifyingly prodigious rate – just like KFC – only made you look like you weren’t comfortable drinking alcohol unless it was wrapped in neoprene, but once the mighty Holden brand morphs from being the pride of Orstrayia to the export of America, you’re going to look more dated than a Peter Brock tattoo.

It could be worse than that fetching HSV parka you bought, though; like if you’d snapped up a Holden race-suit apron, which wouldn’t even look good on the ever-smiling Craig Lowndes, or a Holden ID tag, just like the ones you used to get in your M*A*S*H showbag. Incredibly, the HSV Lions Den website has reduced this highly personalisable item from the slightly optimistic opening price of $49 to just $10.

Sadly, while the same website has a section titled “Ladies Underwear and PJs”, it is, currently at least, disappointingly bare, so to speak.

You can, however, buy “stationary” on the site, though you can’t write on the fetching Holden Lion stickers. But you surely can’t resist a Mark Skaife sleeve tattoo, down from $15 to just 20 cents. Bargain!

. PLUS MINUS

WHY IT’S HOT

On your annual pilgrimage to Bathurst, people don’t need to ask whether you’re red or blue, and it’s still cheaper and less ugly than a tattoo

WHY IT’S NOT

If the Style Police ever move beyond female fantasy, you’ll be first up against the wall when the revolution comes.

And no-one will miss you.