SOME brands are so strong, so beloved, that they can’t really harm themselves, no matter what stupid side projects they attempt to engage in, which is a good thing for Lamborghini.
If Cartier or Louis Vuitton launched an energy drink, they might deservedly cop a pasting for it, no matter how slick the marketing patter, but Lambo seems to have somehow gotten away with its Tonino Lamborghini Energy Drink, despite awful slogans including “Elegance doesn’t go to bed at 11pm” and “Style never sleeps”.
Red Bull has proven that drinks that taste like liquid aluminium cough medicine can be rewardingly associated with highperformance motoring, but can a brand as bullish as Lamborghini?
Clearly the marketing people say yes, as they describe this drink as a “fashion accessory, an Italian style icon” that promises to improve your concentration during stressful working periods, improve your physical performance and mental efficiency, and increase your sense of wellbeing while stimulating your metabolism.
Frankly, you’re wasting your life by not having banged down a can yet, with its combination of secret ingredients and “natural caffeine”. Sadly, it’s not suitable for children, diabetics, pregnant women or people with a brain in their heads.
Lamborghini also sells branded chainsaws. We recently saw an electric model discounted by 60 percent at Masters. It seems that not even gardeners want an electric Lambo.
We spend a third of our lives sleeping, but no longer need to. You could be out driving your Lambo while flying high on energy fizz
We’re willing to bet it doesn't taste as good as the sweet air inside a Huracan or Aventador, nor stimulate your heart rate as much.