Ferrari anything

MASH-UPS BRAND

WORDS STEPHEN CORBY

To look like a prancing whore

IT COULD be argued that owning a Ferrari would make it okay to wear the company’s inexplicably uncool, gauche and gaudy clothing/jewellery/baseball caps, but it would be a failed argument.

The simple fact is, no-one looks cool in a Ferrari-logo polo, they just look like they’re desperately trying to be a member of a club for rich show-offs. At least a small percentage of people who own the cars are actual enthusiasts, and they’ve probably never even thought about buying a Ferrari iPhone cover.

But selling Ferrari-emblazoned tat is big business for the prancing horse. As its previous CEO Luca di Montezemolo revealed in 2013: "Ninety-five [Ferrari] branded items are sold every minute around the world”.

As a senior employee pointed out to me not long ago, Ferrari is a brand now, not just a carmaker.

The Ferrari store offers a multitude of ways to waste cash on Prancing Horse logos, but right near the top is the Ferrari Acer laptop, which will fool absolutely no-one into thinking you work on the F1 pit wall with the Scuderia Ferrari crew.

If it was actually any faster than a normal Acer laptop it might make some sense, but it’s all about branding, and a reassuringly high purchase price.

The same goes for the slow, and stupid, Ferrari Segway.

Best (or worst) of all, though, is the Ferrari golf club, which is made by Cobra, costs thousands of dollars and hits that infuriating little white ball no further than a far cheaper version, despite its go-faster red paint. How stupid do they think golfers are? Oh, yes, right.

r. PLUS MINUS

WHY IT’S HOT

Kids might be impressed by your Ferrari logos, but only until they remember that Bugatti Veyrons are faste

WHY IT’S NOT

You look like a desperate loser. The only Ferrari badge worth having is the one most of us can't afford attached to a little red key.