BEDSIDE MANNER

Ms Herd, email

A MAN is lying in bed in the hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse,” the man mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies: “I don’t know, sir. I’m only here to bathe your upper body.”

He struggles to ask again: “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, the nurse overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks closely and says: “There’s nothing wrong with them. They look fine.”

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and, with some difficulty, he says: “Thank you very much, that was very nice. Now listen very carefully: Are – my – test – results – back?”