Kay Nienn, email

A MAN spots a sign outside a house that reads: ‘Talking Dog For Sale’. Intrigued, he opens the gate and sees the dog sitting in the yard. So he walks over to the dog to strike up a conversation.

“So, tell me what you’ve done with your life?” he asks the dog.

“Well, I’ve led a very full life,” the dog replies. “I lived in the alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served in the army. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”

The man is flabbergasted. He knocks on the door of the house, and when the dog’s owner opens it he asks: “Why on earth would you want to sell an incredible dog like that?”

The owner replies: “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”