Rhi Arrended, email

A YOUNG couple moved to a crime-ridden suburb, and after three of their neighbours’ houses were burgled, they decided they needed a guard dog.

So the wife went to the pet store and asked the shop assistant, who replied: “I’m afraid all we have at the moment is this little Scottish Terrier. But he does know karate.”

The wife was extremely sceptical, so the shop assistant offered a demonstration. He commanded the dog: “Karate that chair.” The little dog went up to the chair and promptly broke it to pieces with one chop. “Now karate that table,” the shop assistant commanded. The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.

So the wife bought the dog and took it home. Her husband was expecting a big, angry guard dog, so was not impressed.

“But this dog knows karate!” the wife said.

The husband replied: “Karate my arse!”

He remains in hospital in a serious but stable condition.