Albert Ross, email

THERE’S a priest who’s a keen golfer; every chance he gets he’s out on the fairway. One warm and sunny Sunday morning, the priest decides the weather’s too perfect not to play golf, so instead of delivering his weekly sermon at church, he calls in sick, and drives two hours to an out-of-the-way golf course, where he’s sure no one will recognise him and realise he’s blown off church to play golf.

But an angel up in heaven sees this and tells God.

“He’s playing golf instead of preaching his sermon; surely he should be punished.”

“Don’t worry,” God replies, “he’ll get what’s coming to him.”

So the priest tees up on the first hole – a fiendishly difficult par four – swings, and dispatches the ball straight into the hole, some 300 metres away. A perfect hole-in-one! The priest is absolutely beside himself with delight.

Up in heaven though, the angel is horrified. He asks God: “I thought you said you were going to punish him?”

“I have,” God replies. “After all, who can he tell?”