Andy Sorderly, email

A POLICE officer spots a car weaving all over the road, so he pulls it over. He walks up to the window and says to the driver: “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyser please.”

“Sorry officer, I can’t do that,” the man replies. “I’m asthmatic, and blowing into the bag will cause me to have a bad asthma attack.”

“Well, then I’ll need you to accompany me to the station to give a blood sample.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that either, officer,” the man replies. “I’m a haemophiliac, and if I give blood, I’ll bleed to death.”

The officer sighs. “Well, then we’ll need a urine sample from you.”

“Sorry,” the man replies. “I’m also a diabetic, and if I do that I’ll get really low blood sugar.”

“Fine, then I’ll need you to step out of the car and walk this white line.”

“I can’t do that, officer,” the man replies with a grin.

The increasingly irate officer says: “And why on earth not?”

“Because I’m drunk.”