SUBTERFUGE

Paulina Farstwun, email

A POLICEMAN was parked outside a bar. When the bar began to shut for the night the officer noticed a man leaving who appeared so intoxicated he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. Then the man tried his car keys on five different vehicles, before finally managing to find his car and fall into it.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started the engine, switched the wipers on and off – even though it was a hot, clear night – flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few centimetres, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes, while some more of the other patrons’ vehicles left the car park.

Finally, when his was the only car left in the car park, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road. The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his car, put on the flashing lights, pulled the man over and administered a breathalyser test. To his amazement, the breathalyser indicated that the man had not consumed any alcohol.

Dumbfounded, the officer said: “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken.”

“I seriously doubt it,” the man replied, proudly.

“Tonight, I’m the designated decoy.”