Not happy, Holden

Glen Kiernan, via email

WE ARE not living in 1984’s Ministry of Truth. We are in 2015 and have the internet. We have Google, Bing and Duck Duck Quacks or something. We know what’s happening around the world.

The Chevrolet SS (Commodore SSV Redline-ish here) is made by us, and has been sold in the US for two years with an LS3 6.2-litre V8, Brembo brakes on all four corners, some dial thingy in the centre console for ride or traction, magnetic ride control and fancy leather seats with chrome doodads, which are heated, cooled and fully adjustable on both the driver and passenger side (10-way with power lumber support).

They also get three-position seats and external mirror memories, plus rear seatbelt warnings, digital radio, internet wi-fi and HID headlights.

It comes with keyless entry with remote start, something that lets you start your car from, well, Australia using your mobile phone (which you can use to send monthly vehicle diagnostic reports to your mechanic), two years’ free scheduled servicing, tyre pressure monitoring system with the option of a spare alloy wheel, safety stuff like FCA, LDW, APA(X2), SBZA, RCTA, RVC and HUD, (yes, which are on a Redline). But the thing is, all of this (up until recently) costs far less in the States than what we pay for our Commodore SSV Redline in Australia.

Now, Holden, as your swan song, you’re going to sell us a Series II with that same engine and brakes, and a motorised hole in the exhaust tip, and tell us it’s the best ever.

Really? Rumour has it the Chevrolet SS is due for even further upgrades (HSV-style).

No wonder everyone always says that we’re screwed-over in Australia. It also happened with the Ford Capri, the Monaro (Pontiac GTO) and the VE (Pontiac G8).

My only theory is that Holden is waiting for the late 2017 SSV Redline ”Z” model to finally man up (and probably shift all the left-over body shells, one suspects)! Oh, then again, that worked for Ford back in the 70s with the XC Falcon Cobras.

Ford Capri – we’d forgotten about that one! Glen, what you have mentioned may ring true, but with less than two years remaining, it might be more fun to ignore our American cousins’ showroom specifications and simply enjoy our SS before it’s gone.